She Comes First By Ian Kerner

As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: "What do I do?" Ironically, the answer has always been right there on the tip of his tongue.

Welcome to the world of "She Comes First," where the mystery of female satisfaction is solved and the tongue is proven mightier than the sword. According to Ian Kerner, clinical sexologist and evangelist of the female orgasm, oral sex has long been deemed an optional aspect of foreplay, but, in fact, it's coreplay - simply the best way for leading a woman through the entire process of sexual response.

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner

Fun, informative, and easy to read, She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman is a virtual encyclopedia of female pleasure, detailing dozens of tried-and-true techniques for satisfying a woman and illustrated step-by-step instructions to ensure success. These simple methods represent a new era in sexual intimacy, one in which the exchange of pleasure occurs on a level playing field and fulfillment is mutual. She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman offers a fresh new sexual philosophy that inspires every man to make a mantra of Rhett Butler's infamous line to Scarlett O'Hara, "You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."

“When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man's native tongue," writes clinical sexologist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. in She Comes First, a straightforward, intimate, and exuberant guide to cunnilingus. Kerner first explored "the oral caress" as a way of compensating for his "sexual inadequacies," and quickly learned that women not only welcomed but often preferred "the way of the tongue," reaching orgasm more consistently than through intercourse. Kerner educates readers about the clitoris, "the powerhouse of pleasure," with 18 parts and 8,000 nerve endings (twice as many as the penis) and describes female sexual response from "foreplay" through "coreplay" to "moreplay."

A large part of She Comes First is a graphic, detailed primer on "mouth music," including best positions, step-by-step techniques (illustrated), and tips for tongue and fingers. “How long should this last? Until the woman has an orgasm or many”, says Kerner, “and melts blissfully before your eyes."

"The vast majority of women complain about guys who don't like to do it, don't know how to do it, or simply don't do it nearly enough. She Comes First will change that. Women: Buy She Comes First for your partner! Dispelling the widely held myth of genital penetration as the apogee of sexual pleasure, Kerner, who holds a doctorate in clinical sexology, offers this witty, well-researched manual for "consistently leading women to orgasm" through cunnilingus. Loaded with practical anatomical information (the clitoris has 18 distinct parts, and more nerve fibers than any other part of the human body) and graphic line drawings, the book also touches on the less mechanical, more psychological aspects of oral sex, including the three assurances every woman needs from her lover to feel comfortable: (1) "you enjoy it as much as she does"; (2) "there's no rush"; and (3) "Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence." Since studies show the average woman takes about 20 minutes to reach her first orgasm during a typical sex session, while men take a mere four minutes, Kerner advises men to delay their own climax and make oral sex "coreplay" ("the substantive phase in which sexual tension builds, culminates and then releases itself through the female orgasm"), instead of foreplay. Breaking down six stages of coreplay, from the "first kiss" to orgasm, Kerner speaks to both beginners and more seasoned lovers. His candor concerning his own bout with sexual dysfunction adds a compassionate tone and credibility to this decidedly pro-female methodology.” - Publishers Weekly

“I have a curious mind and always have, so when I came across yet another book about cunnilingus I could not resist. I was especially intrigued when I saw the author was male. She Comes First is without a shadow of doubt the best book on the subject today. I especially loved how he organized his book after Strunk and White's `Elements of Style' so the book is easy to read, easy to follow, and exceptionally helpful in the elements of sexual style and usage. The chapters are short and sweet so if you are in a time crunch you certainly can devour a short chapter at any session. I cannot exclaim enough how comprehensive this book is on the sexual response of women. The author spends a great deal of time explaining the importance of building sexual tension to bring about pleasure and actually gives step by step instructions to do so. From the beginner to the experienced enthusiast, there is something in this book for everybody. I was pleasantly surprised by the routines for beginner, intermediate, and advanced sessions. Also the step-by-step guides are an eye opener. Impeccably written, this book was a joy to read!”

“She Comes First is a brilliant introduction to the female genitalia and how to stimulate them for the maximum pleasure of your partner. Detailed illustrations help introduce a concept new to some that the 'clitoris' is much more than just the 'starter button' but includes a much broader area. The 'G' spot is explained scientifically. After reading this book through several times I put it into practice with a professional girl who told me "If my last to ex's had done that to me they wouldn't now be ex's!". The book changed me from somewhat ham-fisted to an appreciated practitioner. A 'must have' in the library of any male who is seriously interested in being good at making love.”

“My partner is the original John Wayne - to the core. And for him to read a "how to" book on anything just isn't going to happen. Well, he doesn't have a lot of experience in the art of pleasing a woman...you know, cowboys just get on and ride! Well, somehow, he heard about She Comes First and has it ever made a difference. A difference in everything - our level of intimacy, our happiness, everything we do...we are now closer than ever before...and we're both in our 60's! He first tried some of the techniques without telling me about the book. Well, it was wonderfully obvious to me that something had changed and for the better. This past weekend, we sat together in bed and he showed me the book and we read exerpts that he had marked together. How wonderful is that! We've laughed and played and we have loved...and after all these years, I am now coming first - and for the first time! How  glorious is that!”

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